5 Ways to Cope When He’s Losing Weight and You’re Not

Mindset // Emma-Kate Dobbin // 13 March 2014

It’s great when the man in your life shares your desire to lose weight or get fitter. It means you can both enjoy new healthy habits and activities. But what happens when he starts to reach his goal much faster than you? It happens more often than you’d think, so we’ve asked our experts for advice.

1. Celebrate!

First of all, celebrate your partner’s success. You’ve obviously been working together to reach your health and fitness goals, so know that a win for him is a win for you too. Remember how happy he’s been for you when you’ve done well and give back the love.

If you feel yourself having a case of the green-eyed monster, don’t beat yourself up. It’s normal to experience feelings of jealousy sometimes – even towards people you love. Accept your feelings and move your thinking from “woe is me” to “go me!”.

2. Be Patient

When you’re looking to lose weight, patience really is a virtue. It took time to gain the weight (most likely months, years or even decades!) so it’s going to take time to lose the weight and ditch those unhealthy habits for good.

12WBT fitness lead Daniel Swanbury’s advice? “It won’t happen overnight, so just because he’s losing faster than you, that’s not a valid reason to give up. Keep chipping away at the results you’re making and forget about the competition.”

3. Understand the Differences

The difference in weight loss between the sexes comes down to biology. The reality is that men and women’s bodies are built differently, and there are a few factors contributing to him losing weight faster than you. Men have a larger amount of lean muscle mass that burns more energy and therefore helps them lose extra weight.

There is a reason for your differences that dates back to our early predecessors, as 12WBT dietitian Georgie Moore explains. “A woman’s body is designed for a different purpose, for example having children. Your partner’s body was designed for hunting and providing food and shelter,” she says. “As such, embrace that the two of you are very different and you can do other things much better than he can!”

4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Him

Comparing yourself to anyone else is going to be a losing battle, and that holds equally true for judging yourself against your partner. Georgie weighs in on this age-old issue. “Comparing yourself to others is potentially one of the biggest barriers to weight loss,” she says. “Every person is very different and we all lose weight differently. Focus on you and your success.”

Dan agrees. “Be happy for yourself for your improvements, be happy for him for his improvements and remember the only person you need to compare yourself to is the old you,” he says. “You’re fitter, happier and healthier now than before, so love yourself for that.”

5. Congratulate Yourself

This might seem cheeky, but it’s OK to take a little credit for your partner’s weight loss! “The chances are that you’re cooking at least some of his food for him,” says Georgie. “Weight management comes down to 80 percent nutrition and 20 percent exercise, so you can pat yourself on the back for helping him achieve his goals.”

However, for the sake of a quiet life, you might prefer to keep this to yourself – it may be better to just bask in an inner glow of satisfaction! Be gracious and remember that no-one has to win EVERY argument.

Sign yourself and your partner up to the next Round of 12WBT, and join our team today!

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